London mayoral candidate Count Binface has said that, if he is successful in the upcoming election, his priority for Hackney will be to improve London Fields.
In an exclusive interview with Hackney Post, the candidate formerly known as Lord Buckethead announced his “key Hackney-related policy is to improve London Fields, and specifically the provision of public toilet facilities”, ensuring that they are all signposted “WC Fields”.
Moreover, the self-described “intergalactic space warrior” committed to “do something [about the] sky-rocketing” Hackney house prices, which he describes as a “bloody joke”.
Other policies of the mayoral candidate include London rejoining the European Union, renaming Hammersmith Bridge “Wayne” (after the English international footballer) and banishing anti-lockdown campaigner Piers Corbyn to the “phantom-zone”.
Asked about his reasons for running for mayor, Count Binface told Hackney Post: “After the strangest year in living memory, what candidate could clean up the mess better than a lifeform who comes complete with built-in bin? When you think about it like that, it would be crazier if I didn’t run for election.
“Do you know much about the Greater London Assembly? No, nobody does. So I spy a little bin-shaped gap to shake things up there. If the good people of London agree, that is. Watch this hyperspace.”
Count Binface first made headlines in 2017 when he stood for parliament against Theresa May in Maidenhead under the pseudonym Lord Buckethead – a name he has since abandoned partly due to his promise to “abandon the House of Lords”.
Following his failed General Election run, Count Binface appeared at Glastonbury Festival and on John Oliver’s HBO show. In the 2019 General Election, he ran against Boris Johnson in the constituency of Uxbridge and South Ruislip, winning 69 votes.
“So far I’ve won a grand total of 318 votes from humans at British elections,” Count Binface said. “I’m pretty sure that’s a record for an extra-terrestrial. I’m quietly optimistic that the citizens of London will take one look at the candidates on offer in 2021 and genuinely question whether a Ceefax-fixated alien is a better bet. I’m not sure if that says more about them or me.”
