Kathryn Hoyle believes strongly in her work. As the founder of Sh! Europe’s first woman-only sex shop, she is credited with revolutionising the business, attracting female customers who had been turned-off by a male dominated industry.
Dressed from head-to-toe in black, she bounces up and down on the pink couch as she describes her successes. But her initial experiences with the sex industry are a far cry from her female friendly shop.
“Twenty years ago, I went down to Soho with a friend and visited a sex shop,” says Kathryn. “It was the most alienating, horrible experience. It wasn’t for woman at all; it was horrible, dirty and dusty. Everything looked really phallic, with very realistic toys and blow up dolls coming out of boxes gaping at you.”
This was before the sexual revolution of the late nineties. Before Carrie, Samantha and Co had made the language of sexual liberation the norm. Hoyle feels that women had to sneak into shops. She says that there wasn’t really anywhere for women to go.
“We were women of the world, and yet we didn’t feel comfortable in these seedy shops,” she exclaims.
The need for a female orientated sex shop was clear. With £700 in her bank, Kathryn found a home for her shop in Hoxton: “The rent was £80 a week in cash. I bought a big tin of pink paint. I made all the shop fittings myself and they wobbled a lot, which was embarrassing. If you set off a vibrator the whole bloody shelf shook and they all fell over.
“Back then Hoxton was all boarded up buildings. We used to get these women in from Kensington wearing their Manolo Blahnik shoes traipsing up and down these uneven pavements trying to find us. It felt like a crack den. Luckily Hoxton has grown up around us. We fit in now.”
After 20 years, Sh! has grown up too. It has just been nominated for a Qype business award and has been hailed by their international customers as one of the best sex shops in the world.
They have recently expanded to Portobello Road, boasting customers from across Europe and even catering to celebs such as Cherie Blair. Refusing to tell us what Cherie was given Kathryn winked: “I think we were well received.”
While Cherie may have enjoyed her gift, Sh! were not so well received by their male counterparts.
Kathryn explains: “When I first started we went into the Soho shops for market research and all the men were so aghast; it was quite condescending. Back then, a woman owning a sex toy was seen as sex crazed, she couldn’t get a man. This was the message coming out to women.”
Kathryn has made it her mission statement to change this attitude. Customers are treated to an intimate chat with one of the sales assistants, helping women to access their sexuality.
A cuddly, purple toy is used to illustrate female genitalia. Such toys are used to empower women, says Kathryn with knowledge. They have named it Rosie. Renee, the store manager who has worked in Sh! for five years, thinks Rosie should be used in schools: “Men are used to handling their own equipment. Girls just don’t. I think Rosie should be used in schools. Some women just don’t know what’s down there.”All of the products in Sh!, from dildos to underwear, are tested by staff. “I like to call it stress relief,” laughs Renee.
A personalised service is integral to the shop, says Kathryn: “If someone walks in and wants you to recommend something it’s difficult: what you like and what I like might be two different things. 70 per cent of women don’t orgasm through penetrative sex. 80 per cent need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. I mean, let’s just put it all down in black and white so women don’t feel isolated and alone because they think everyone else is having this fantastic sex after thirty seconds.”
The media helps to perpetuate this says Kathryn. “Find me a film that doesn’t show a woman climaxing after thirty seconds. There aren’t any.
Helping women to understand their sexuality was one of the driving forces behind the shop. But now women approach Kathryn with a multitude of different issues. She has been collaborating with nurses and doctors to help women recovering from surgery to feel sexy again.
“Sometimes people tell you these in depth things and all you can do is give them a hug. Some women have had invasive surgery because of cancer. They’ve lost bits inside of them and they wonder ‘how can they feel sexy without that?’ We’ve been working to help them.”
This sort of service differentiates Sh! from Ann Summers. “If anybody asks what I do and I say I run a women’s sex shop, I immediately say it’s nothing like Ann Summers,” laughs Kathryn. “Ann Summers is quite cheap. They say ‘this is what you want ladies’. We talk to our customers and ask them what the issues are. We’ve always listened.”
Customer requests led Sh! to produce their own range of dildos shortly after they opened. The factory is based in east London and is full of girls wearing aprons, using electric mixers to whisk candy colours of silicone, a veritable Willy Wonka’s of sex toys.
Kathryn explains that at the time women’s sexual needs were not catered for by existing toy manufacturers. “I would go round this warehouse with a robbed Tescos’ trolley, pushing it up and down rows and rows of porn and sex toys,” says Kathryn. “We searched for products but there just wasn’t anything that would appeal to women. We thought we’ll have a go at doing silicone dildos. You’d be pouring and it would start to set, like spaghetti. We made more dog toys than dildos at the beginning. We had some disasters.”
During her time on the shop floor, Kathryn also noticed that customers would ask her similar questions about sex, so she started her own classes. The most popular are the Blow his Mind, Spanking and Strap On classes. The shop also holds erotic fiction readings and exhibits erotic art on its walls.
Kathyrn says talking to women is by far the best part of her job.
“A girl told me that her boyfriend wanted to try S&M,” says Kathryn. “I tried to find out what she liked and how she might be able to get into it but she wasn’t keen. It turned out that her boyfriend was bullying her into it. I think I talked her into dumping him.”
